Dear Love (#3)

Dear Love,

Forgive me for my overwhelming amount of affection.

When I said I loved you, it was your soul I was talking about.

The way your aura shines is a light like no other.

Love, you are bright.

And I don’t just mean you are smart.

Love, it feels as if I am the only one who can see your radiance.

You enclose light under thick skin.

A shell that hardly stands if someone holds you close and tells you,

“It’s okay”.

You came to claim and we left enamoured instead.

I write my diction simpler,

So that when you happen upon it

There are no blurred lines.

Unfortunately, Love, there is no black and white.

Our relationship is a grey so deep that I have begun to lose myself within it.

A shot is all I want,

But it seems that only alcohol shall fill this glass.

You have expertise in the area of keeping me on my toes,

But I am afraid the only reason is because you have a knot around my neck

Named “Hope”.

Our relationship happens intermittently.

And with each time, the noose grows a little tighter.

I could’ve sworn that this past time was the last time.

But each goodnight kiss only strangled me.

Each nuzzling into my chest only left me breathless.

You told me that my heart was beating so fast.

And Love, that was just me trying to circulate blood through my body again

Before it became devoid of it and oxygen.

But my feet were cold,

As if I had lost already.

The night that cut the rope was not one that I would like to remember.

For you didn’t cut it, but I sawed it off with such lack of grace.

I didn’t mean to swim before I could float.

But your eyes are a pool I could drown in.

I didn’t look at you when I said such regretful words.

I stared at the wall, and that you were.

A deafening silence draped the room.

The blood rushed back to my head after being strung up for so long.

“I’m sorry”,

I whispered.

“It’s okay”,

You said.

Love, I thought I had escaped your grasp full of hope for good.

Mere weeks later, you were a boy scout once again.

“Who knows? Maybe you will get another shot”.

Love, I do not know what that means.

I am out of alcohol.

And you tied me up again,

Just like that.